Why is there music on deviant art? I hadn’t been here for a while and decided to check in on my page but when I got there, random bitts of sound kept bursting from my speakers. It sounded like ads and phone calls… Did I miss something?

I’m not emoing out but for the past two years, I have been enrolled in a school that imitates college in its schedule, difficulty, and campus environment. As the two years passed my so-called friends stopped talking to me, unless I was complementing there art work. I think this may have some thing to do with the rumors circulating about my old school. (I have been out of school for the past three or so weeks and graduated the 21st) These rumors all state that the school is easy and you can sleep in all day. As someone who lost his social life in an effort to graduate with near perfect grades, I can guarantee that this is a blatant lie spread by part-time students.

A part-time student is a student that either is enrolled in public school and takes a one or two classes from my old school or only takes those one or two classes. These part-timers usually take the easy classes. I was a full-time student; I stayed up into the early hours of the morning, trying to self learn the coarse work. This one school has been the hardest school I have ever attended. The only reason I was able to keep up is that the teachers are happy to provide tutoring and actually love to teach. My ex-Spanish teacher would call your cell phone if you missed a class and ask if you were all right. All the teachers were on a first name basic with the students, remembered there names, and loved to joke and make idle conversations. Another rumor is that all you need is faith in God to pass this school. This is bullshit; there are atheists, pagans, and Satanists Graduating from this school. I’m leaving it at that…

These two years of isolation have been eating away at me. I have come to realize that even though I have been happy, I have been at the border of another depression. (A medical type of depression, not emo sadness.) Almost everyone who claimed to be my friend at this school was only saying this so I could tutor them and eventually be a crutch for there 12-30% grades then ditch me when thy didn’t need my anymore. This has left me so cold and lonely that I can no longer react to certain emotional stimuli. When people die around me, which happens a lot, I feel nothing. Every night I hug my pillow and pretend that, I am not alone in that cold, dark, room. If I could, I would cry about this but, I know that if I let the tears out, I will just be letting the sadness back into my heart…